According to American SPCC, children who grow up in households with loving, supportive parents have a much better chance at becoming healthy, successful adults. But as all those who work with children know, this isn’t always the case. Many of them have to endure abuse, neglect, and other types of bad parenting practices each day. And this leads to serious emotional and behavioral problems that affect them throughout the rest of their life. Because of this, a great debate has started on how much the parents of children who end up being violent and aggressive are to blame for their behavior.
What do you think? Is the lack of parental guidance mainly responsible for children being violent or is there other more dominant factors that could explain child’s aggressive behavior. Read the arguments below and leave your comment at the end.
All the Yes points:
- Parents are too busy with their careers which leads children to seek attention by being aggressive
- Parents Who Abuse Their Children Set an Example of Violence
- Authoritative Parenting is Better Than Coddling to Prevent Violent Children
- What About Outside Sources?
- Parents Can Prevent Violence by Spending Time With Their Kids
All the No points:
Parents are too busy with their careers which leads children to seek attention by being aggressive
Parents become increasingly busy with their job and don’t spend enough time with their children. They don’t have time to talk to them, listen to them, know their problems and simply don’t know their children enough. As a result children don’t get enough attention they need and deserve so they turn to anti-social behaviour in hope it will eventually alarm the parents and remind them of their existence after being notified by the teachers, even if the kids have to deal with negative consequences afterwards.
Parents Who Abuse Their Children Set an Example of Violence
No child starts out as a cruel, violent person. NBC says that studies show it is only when they are abused in horrific ways, or they have to witness the ongoing abuse of others, that they learn to act this way. This has been proven time and time again through the testing of violent children who ended up as repeat offenders in the criminal justice system. The vast majority of them all had at least one family member or parent who had abused them in some way. It wasn’t necessarily physical abuse though. An authoritarian type of parenting, which some people refer to as a “dictatorship style,” affected them too because of the emotional damage that it did. And besides this, they didn’t learn to make good decisions or gain control over their actions because their parents were so critical of everything that they did.
The other side of this is that there are many examples of children who grew up with a stable home life, but still became prone to violence later on in life. This was often because they had psychological problems, which affected their actions though. Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other anti-social personality disorders can impact how well a child understands how to treat others.
Authoritative Parenting is Better Than Coddling to Prevent Violent Children
Some parents do the exact opposite of being abusive to their children. Instead of harsh punishments, beatings, and neglect, they give no consequences for their bad behavior at all. This is problematic because children both need and want their parents to set limitations for them through an authoritative parenting style. If their parents don’t, they will act out in ways that are meant to get their attention. Coddling children will not prevent violence because it doesn’t teach them that they need to act respectfully and kindly to those around them. If anything, it encourages more violence because the child is always allowed to get away with cruelty.
Both parents have to be working as a united team for authoritative parenting to work. More often than not, one parent prefers to coddle the children while the other one is stuck with trying to set limitations. This causes confusion in a child’s mind, since they don’t have any clear direction about their actions.
What About Outside Sources?
Sometimes, children learn violence through television shows, video games, and other types of media. They might also see it at school. Since this teaches that violence is acceptable, it is up to parents to try to limit how much exposure that their kids have to all of this.
According to Parenting, parents can’t be everywhere that a child is every second of the day. And even if they could, this wouldn’t be healthy. As soon as a child goes to a friend’s house or some type of social function, they will have access to the violent media that is being withheld anyways.
Parents Can Prevent Violence by Spending Time With Their Kids
Neglectful parenting often has an even greater impact on the violent tendencies of children than physical abuse does. Neglect can be characterized by withholding love and affection, food, and a clean, healthy environment from the child. This usually happens in households where one or more of the parents have some type of mental illness or addiction to drugs and alcohol. The children who are raised with neglectful parents have no idea how to function in a healthy environment. They are hungry, dirty, and ill from untreated health problems. And this impacts them on a deep psychological level that causes them to lash out at others through violence.
The worst cases of neglect are rare. Most parents give their child some kind of shelter, food, and clothing. It might not be the best, but their attempts can’t be discounted or blamed for the path that a child chooses to lead in life. Some children simply have no desire to follow societal rules because of a deep-seated desire to rebel against authoritative figures who try to put limits on them. So even if they are given everything that they could possibly want in life, they could still end up violent.
While a violent home or upbringing can be one contributive factor to bullism in schools
Much of the time; abusive behavior stems from teachers,fellow students & servants in schools.
Studies reveal that 1 out of every 8 abuse victims become abusers. This is a minority.However; if a teacher/servant/fellow-student tyrannizes the grounds; then 1 out of every 8 students will in all likelihood acquire these habits.
Studies also reveal that institutions have their own corporate culture. That rules of behavior are set by one
s environment. Bullies prevail where they are bred. A child would not continue in abusive/violent behavior in school if the child faces fair and timely discipline/consequences/reform. Emphasis onfair`as unfair punishments backfire.
This reform can be anything from detention to a few hours of mandatory counseling; alternatively both.
as a parent I do/did feel guilty about working and there were times when I came home and my husband had put the kids to sleep but then I think. I had decided once a week I will take them out for either lunch or dinner they would sit there uncomfortable so I would start
the conversation breaking the ice. That was the best thing ever conversation with my kids communication comes easy with them n me
We would love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!