The claim that housewives staying at home spending more time around their children are better, much-more-responsible/effective mothers than their career-mom counterparts.
But time: quantity equal quality?
Research on the subject is inconclusive, sometimes lauding the children of working mothers; for being more academically motivated/ambitious,healthier because their mothers make educated food choices, at other times lauding Asian housewives for the same thing. The critique works similarly.
All the Yes points:
All the No points:
- working mothers are earning enough money to support their children
- daughters need good role models
- Career mothers are better educated
housewives give children the attention they need
Psychologically,diet-wise and academically. Housewives can be both educated and uneducated but the fact that they spend more time with their children means that they put in a greater effort and since they are not preoccupied with their job(read: cellphone); they pay the close attention needed to keep their children out of trouble.
Think of housewives as inspectors in your home; they will make sure the food’s on the table,children have done their chores/homework, will talk to the kids even when they don’t want; unlike fathers they can stroll into bedrooms at any time and check every nook-&-Corner so it is drug/cigarette/alcohol-free.
A busy mother will be humming about worrying about the way she might lose the promotion to her professional nemesis !
Talking to your parents about paying bills and getting a promotion; makes older people feel useful and younger people(the children) feel secure that they have the family/fall-back option. That their parents can be relied on not feared; respected/loved/kind/understanding rather than unhelpful and distant. Parents themselves feel that children who talked to them about their problems can be trusted/leaned-on with their own. Thus [parents trust their children to be there for them in their time of need. This symbiosis throughout lifetimes is healthy and efficient for both parent/(s) and child/(children).
People want to be relaxed all the time(At home AND at work) that is why all the research on work-stress is so important.
The key to good health according to most research is having people around irrespective of whether they are tense or relaxed; just having them around provides security/welfare.
All this attention can be suffocating. Children need space to grow.
Traditionally housewives had many children; therefore each child had the room to grow individually and independently: Attention was divided.
Now people have fewer children and mothers can be overly involved in their little ones’ lives. Making it difficult for children to develop useful skills of independence; required to ultimately stand on their own feet, make friends etc.
When they grow up they will probably rely on their mothers to pay their bills, they will call “mummy” from work if they can’t get that promotion! they will probably be inseparable from their mothers;
causing stress to people.
A housewife is usually busy tending to the house or doing the more practical jobs of raising children, such as feeding them, rather than actually spending time with them and being loving/affectionate. If they come home from work, they will want to spend that time relaxing and being in a positive mood.
housewives are friends with their children
Friends come and go ; family sticks but not always. Mothers(those who were with you every step of the way in your development:housewives) you can rely on.
they are the best friends who won’t cheat on you with your boyfriend; who won’t be jealous of your achievements and who will motivate you to chase your dreams with full fervor. Especially when they are not ambitious career women themselves.
career women generally set great examples for daughters but not sons unless their husband’s have equally strong/stronger personalities.
If the father is resentful of his wife’s success/job; and complains every time he is with the kids then both daughters and sons pay.
Then again different people react different; high pressure can bring out the best results in some people and the worst in others.
It’s best that the mother who knows best (for her kids) spends enough time with them to know what will work for each one.
counter: Yes; housewives can/do lose their temper but not any more than the-emotionally-detached-ambitious-career-obsessed-father who doesn’t wish to be disturbed at all times and orders the kids be taken away, put to sleep and/or fed all the time. Only a housewife can put with such a terrible caricature of a husband/father while a career-woman will probably do the same leaving children to their nannies and so forth.
Working mothers take out their workplace stress on their children. They do not have time or energy for them. They are mothers in name only.
Housewives only have relationships to interfere in; and mothers can be very competitive career-women or not. They can be jealous of your youth/freedom/beauty/intelligence/career/anything? and mothers can expect you to nurture them or your siblings instead of going for ‘selfish pursuits’. And since they don’t have their own careers housewives are at times; intent on inadvertently spoiling their daughters’ careers.
It’s like teachers who’ve failed in their subject of teaching; they could either help you thwart all the mistakes they made; making sure you succeed with all their might or AND sadly this ‘is’ what happens most of the time they’ll bring you down harder than ever because they suffered.
Career women using the same analogy can be like teachers who succeeded. Who won’t only stop you from making mistakes , but teach you the tricks of the trade. The sneak-peaks,cheats and all the learning/growing/success-aides they’ve picked on their way up; high up. Even self-involved career women teach by example. Daughters want to develop the same work-ethic, get the same respect and tend to value achievement.
Housewives work hard too with their domestic tasks, and are often overworked and in bad moods. The child is the first available target of this hostility, especially if they are underfoot/in the way of the work needing to be done. counter to second counter: Housewives(especially socialites) are very capable of leaving/disposing tots to the nanny.
working mothers are earning enough money to support their children
Many families will not earn enough money to properly support their children if the mother doesn’t work, especially a single mother. Even if the father earns enough money for them to live on, the child will live more comfortably if the mother is earning a wage too.
At times; rather most of the time children of poor working mothers become too free/independent ; getting involved in criminal activities and other immoral indulgences that they would not get way with on a 24-hour house-mother watch.
Children get neglected and therefore; self-pitying & spoiled.
daughters need good role models
Daughters need to know that women can be powerful and aspire to good careers, and that this doesn’t mean they can’t also have children. Their mother is the example they will see the most and will learn to copy from an early age.
And who’s to say a housewife cannot be a good role model?
Housewives can be well-educated; good-looking and put-together. And many are.
Running a home/family is no easy task and can be very fulfilling; if you do it right.
I could not imagine a better role model than that of a present, loving, capable and devoted mother. Daughters need to know that motherhood is a choice and a huge responsibility. Being accountable for one’s choices is a sign of dignity and maturity. Putting children on the backburning for personal desires is an injustice. That is why working moms feel bad about leaving their children. Deep down the truth hurts.
When a woman is working; her child has got to learn how to adjust with different people and surroundings; but some kids cannot spend a minute without their moms.:”mama’s boys or girls”
A woman can be educated and uneducated.
She could be working before her marriage.
All of this depends on her personality. In conclusion there’s little difference between a housewife and a working lady.
Adjustment results from exposure to other people.
A housewife can have many house guests frequently frequenting her home. Children are therefore exposed to many people and have to learn to adjust/socialize in such an environment. Many offspring recite poems,sing songs and otherwise perform for these guests.
However, a home with a housewife can be very lonely; while privacy is hard to come by. Some mothers treat children like nothing more than sounding boards. Where friends/family can walk away or fault them ; children have to listen at least until they’re teenagers.
Alternatively a home run by career woman can be full or empty too.
A career woman could, out of the guilt of being a working mother; feel the need to smother her child every chance she gets; making sure the child is not surrounded by strangers. Leaving him/her
very incapable of social development/adjustment.
Working mothers can overcompensate by being overprotective and
somehow suffocating for their child/children.
Career mothers are better educated
Women with careers often have a higher degree of education. Even though they might not be home all of the time, they have the means necessary to educate their children better. A stay at home mother can only teach as much as she knows and if this is only the sphere of domestic duties the child will grow up knowing how to be a housewife and the circle will be perpetuated.
A major general finding from social science research is the strong association between children’s well-being and families socioeconomic background consisting particularly of human capital; such as innate or learned skills, educational attainment, psychological and health status, personal or psychological resources; resiliency, positive outlook, motivation, and “social capital”; such as community ties, relations with neighbours and friends. This is also based to a lesser extent on income; in 1994-1995, for children aged 4-5 years in Canada mean family income in a two-parent family was $64,000 with a working mother and $46,000 with a “non-working” mother; in a single mother family, mean income was $26,000 with a working mother and $15,000 with a “non-working” mother. So therefore there is a good chance that those families with a career woman will be better educated and the better the socioeconomic group the better the prospects of the child.’Family Background, Family Income, Maternal Work and Child Development’, Human Resources and Skills Development Canada, (Oct. 1998) http://www.hrsdc.gc.ca/eng/cs/sp/sdc/pkrf/publications/research/1998-002345/page04.shtml%5D%5D
To say a mother without a career is a worse mother because she is somehow less intelligent is making a mockery of women’s autonomy of choice. Many well qualified women stay at home to look after their child out of love and passion. A argument that career mothers are better because they are more capable to educate their child is not applicable anyway, as surely the level of education a child needs before entering schooling can be taught by anyone and certainly will not include complex accounts management or advance trigonometry!!!
This argument implies that a better educated parent will make a more intelligent child. That is ridiculous.As long as the child is well looked after, fed three times a day, given the opportunities to explore, with a warm shelter and a roof over their heads the parents are doing a good job.
Even if the career women are more intellectual and can be more stimulating to the child’s mind, you must factor in having to work late into this complex equation. Many career driven parents won’t be home until after the child has gone to sleep and as such the ‘education’ that they can pass on is already limited.
I wanted to state that I disagree on the idea that ‘housewives’ are less educated. I have worked when I needed to. Right now I can stay at home, and I love it. I teach my boys the alphabet,numbers,colors, shapes,we go outside and do various activities, cook,clean, and the list goes on. My children are learning responsibility within the home, and also enjoying their childhood; by having educational fun. My husband drives truck, and he is not home very often. We hope that as the children get older he can stay home longer. He enjoys that, and it shows the boys the “work side” of life as well. My boys can also travel with him when they are 10 years old. I was a Certified Nursing Assistant, and I am soon getting my Associates of Arts in Healthcare Administration (in case,or when I decide to work). We also have the internet, and a public library. I can teach my children about everything under moon. I read once that many people today are wishing they rent. Instead of having burden on their home, and mortgage. I don’t mind renting, not having fancy technological gadgets, and not paying an expensive car loan. My children also don’t get showered with presents during birthdays, and Christmas. Life is not about materialistic qualities. It depends on the parents views, and what the parents decide is best. I believe either decision can be worked out.